Harish Jharia

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04 May 2010

Senior Citizens... Old age, Menopause: Mothers and mothers-in-law


© Harish Jharia

Mother-in-law is an entity that is projected in negative characters in films, soap operas on TV and in general discussions. Internet forums are flooded with questions asking ways for getting rid of mothers-in-law. You will find this trend in the audiovisual media in western world as well as in the eastern showbiz also. In homes daughters-in-law feel their lives interfered by the old ladies and sons-in-law feel their lives intruded with the presence of their mothers-in-law.

School students usually dislike their old lady headmaster and children very often have altercations with their grandmothers on various day-to-day life incidents like grabbing the remote control while watching TV. It is a common belief among youngsters that there is a wide generation gab between them and their aging mothers. 

We just ignore these widening rifts between younger generation and the aging women in our families and societies. Nevertheless, this is a matter of serious concern that younger kids keep clinging to their mothers, whereas, on entering their adulthood their attachment with their mothers reduces to the minimal. As the offspring grow older they successively establish a wider generation gap with their mothers whom they loved the most all along their early lives.

On analyzing the above described examples it is apparently clear that the common factor in all these cases is ‘ the old women in their fifty plus age’.

Most of us do not know that women are bound to undergo overall physical and mental changes due to drastic hormonal disturbances at the age of around fifty. These age related problems eventually result in many sicknesses and these physical and psychological ailments are so very personal that aging women cannot share or discuss them with others.

Usually at fifty plus age all the women have to face the most painful period of their life called ‘Menopause’. Menopause can be better understood if we compare it with puberty. Girls enter the most awaited period of their life called puberty that eventually introduces them to the divine age of early womanhood. Similarly women enter the age of menopause, just opposite to puberty that eventually bids farewell to their motherhood.

Following is the list the common problems that women face at fifty plus age:

1. Hot flashes, flushes
2. Cold flashes
3. Night sweats
4. Irregular periods and menstrual irregularities
5. Mood swings
6. Sudden tears
7. Fatigue
8. Hair loss and thinning of hair
10. Growth in facial hair
11. Sleep disorders
12. Difficulty in concentrating, disorientation and mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Dizziness and loss of balance
15. Weight gain
16. Allergies
18. Bouts of rapid heart beat
19. Depression and Anxiety
21. Irritability
22. Panic and feelings of dread
25. Breast pain
26. Headaches
27. Aching muscles and tendons
28. Sore joints
29. Burning sensation in tongue and roof of mouth
32. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
33. Digestive problems, indigestion, flatulence
34. Gum problems, increased bleeding

For detailed description of the above problems and ailments please visit... "34 Menopause Symptoms... " webpage.

You may also visit "Girls and Puberty"... webpage and compare menopausal changes with the changes taken place during puberty.

I have not published this article to study puberty and menopause that are the most important turning points in women’s lives. My aim of writing this article is to remind the readers that the small baby girl who brings dazzling glow in the family will have to eventually grow-up into an old woman and face all the catastrophes of old age.

We have learnt about all the hardships, pains and frustrations faced by mothers and grandmothers in their old age. Now let us jot-down the precautions and remedial measures we need to take for taking care of our mothers, mothers-in-law and grandmothers.

Following are the probable ways and means to make our mothers and grandmothers more comfortable:

1. Men and women in their old age turn into small children and are required to be taken care of with love, care and compassion.
2. With the advancement in their age they become more and more touchy. They would be hurt with a negligible emotional injury. We will have to be careful while interacting or dealing with them.
3. They might develop urge for eating and drinking tasty stuff. We need to offer them these foods and drinks, rather then asking for their choice
4. They might lose their temper for any unexpected reason. We should learn to tolerate their emotional and temperamental outbursts.
5. They may develop rigid concepts that might not look reasonable. We should either learn to tolerate all that or should be expert enough to motivate them to voluntarily change their thinking pattern.
6. They might remind us about our day-to-day routine jobs, in spite of the fact that we are grown up and know our jobs well. Yet, it would be a 'feel good factor' for them, if we acknowledge their reminders and flash a sweet thankful smile in return
7. They might feel lonely because of the busy schedule of other family members. We need to spare time for sitting with them and exchange some pleasantries.
8. It would be a good idea to provide them exclusive rooms equipped with all the facilities that other family members avail like TV, air-conditioner or cooler etc.
9. We should make it sure that they take breakfast lunch and dinner along with other family members together
10. We should not leave them alone at home whenever we go for an outing like, long drives, picnics, movies etc

We have plenty of time to enjoy for your personal pleasure. Yet, we should never forget that whatever we are enjoying today that has been created by our mom and dad in exchange of losing on their own desires and dreams.

Dedicated to mothers on the occasion of May 9th, Mothers' Day 2010.

Please also read a similar articles:
"We and Our Parents"...
‘Postmenopausal Osteoporosis’...
This article / Story / fiction is written based on my personal observations. My intention for publishing the same is to provide healthy reading and intellectual entertainment and not for educating the visitors. Names of people, societies, communities and description of faiths, beliefs, incidents are imaginary and fictitious. They have neither any relevance to the prevailing entities and traditions nor have any similarities with ongoing lifestyles, political ideologies and legal doctrines. The contents of this creative work has not been written with any intention to criticize, condemn or oppose anything what-so-ever present in reality in any country in the world. No literature or authentic books have been referred for writing the contents of this article. The visitors are advised not to refer the contents of this article for any research or testimony on scientific, geographical, political, civic or legal purposes. The visitors are further advised to consult relevant experts before adapting any information from this article. The author or the website are not responsible for any errors, mistakes, or omissions there in.
- Harish Jharia

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